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Just a couple of medical tid-bits RE Sir e that I neglected to include: I mentioned before the pediatrician's concern about hydrocephalus, and then I think I mentioned that we weren't so worried about that anymore, but I think I did not say why. So here's that part: e's brain is smaller than it should be and underdeveloped (something we have known since the CHOP neurosurg people looked at his MRI). Apparently, the extra fluid in his noggin making his fontanel full is the body's way of protecting the little brain. It fills up the extra spaces with fluid. The pediatrician delivered this news and was worried I would be quite upset. She was surprised when I said I thought it was good news. We already knew about the brain issues, I was just glad to cross hydrocephalus firmly off my list of things to worry about right now. Just a few days before that, e had his initial evaluation for Early Intervention services. He scored about like a 1-month old on the motor development scale but was about a 5-month-old on cognitive skills. This lined up with my assessment of him as well, so I wasn't very surprised. They actually had a better opinion of his cognitive development than I did--they have a whole host of babies to compare him to. I only have my two other kids. I'll go with their opinion on this one for now.--so that part was heartening. The Early Intervention people, like the pediatrician, were surprised by my reactions. They also keep asking questions like "what would you like to see e accomplish?" I am never sure how to answer these questions. No one, not even the fancy CHOP geneticists, know what he is capable of. How can I arbitrarily say what I would like to see him do? And what use would it be to spend time on things like that anyway? I just want to surround him with whatever supports I can find in order that he can achieve whatever it is he is going to achieve. I'm sure there will be discouraging things and alarming times. There will probably be times when we will have to come to terms with something that e just can't do. That's alright. e is a gift. I'm grateful to have him.

The kids continue to enjoy the dirt, the trees, and the space here in NH. I am rediscovering all the things I have missed--such as the sound of the wind in a natural setting rather than in a man-made one. It sounds much nicer going through trees instead of whipping around buildings. It is also nice to hear it unadulterated by traffic and people noise. It has the same sort of calming affect I find in the sound and motion of open water. I have finally convinced E that it is ok to let go of my hand when we go for walks on the road. (It is a dirt road. Cars are a rare occurrence. It is quiet enough that you can hear them coming in plenty of time to move.) It is so nice to be here. I am still totally exhausted, though. E won't stay in his bed, I is up to her usual tricks, e needs attention in the night and early mornings, all this dirt playing necessitates more baths and washing up (totally worth it)...but such is the life of a parent, yes? In the words of Bon Jovi, I'll sleep when I'm dead. Tomorrow we are going to take a trip to a farm. I wish we had brought our galoshes....